Senior Living Tips

We get it. If you’re an older adult cautiously considering the idea of moving into a senior retirement community, the notion can be overwhelming. And, if you’re a family member helping an elder you love to prepare for the future, the confusion can be just as intense. Yes, there are many, many things to consider, so just where should one begin? Sure, the questions may be basic like “Where are the best retirement communities in Edmond?” or “How much does a senior community in northwest Oklahoma City cost?” or “Are there nice retirement communities around Bethany?” Other questions can be more complex. In our Downsizing Made Easy guidebook we offer a list of questions for Senior Living Community Tours designed to help you navigate through the sensory overload and racing mind that’s sure to accompany your initial visits to these communities. The most important thing to remember is that it’s perfectly natural to feel a bit overwhelmed and more than a little confused. After all, this is indeed a pretty major life event for either yourself or someone you care about and it is probably also fraught with a huge jumble of emotions. All too often, older adults and their family members trudge through these visits in a daze, trying their best to make sense of it all and visualize how things will “play out,” yet still remain completely oblivious to some very basic items to consider. To make it easier for you, here are a few of the primary points to ponder. Is there an upfront fee or is it simply month-to-month? Ever joined a gym or fitness center? If so, then you’re probably aware of their bevy of “initiation fees” and “annual fees” in addition to the regular monthly fee. Many senior living communities have the same sort of fees. In fact, this may be one of the first questions you’ll want to ask a community even before scheduling a tour. But be careful to compare apples with apples and not apples with oranges. Don’t scratch a community off your list based purely on pricing until you know what specifically the fees include — both in the short and the long term. Are pets allowed? If so, is there an additional fee? If your pet means absolutely everything to you, this question is pretty vital. And it’s possible that additional fees exist if you want your sweet Scottie or furry feline to move in with you. Some communities may only allow pets on the first floor. How often does the rent increase? Ask anyone who lives in an apartment and they’ll probably tell you that rent increases come annually. Expect rent increases from 2% to as much as 5% annually. This is largely dictated by supply and demand. But since every community is different, be sure to ask. Also, be sure to look at the contract for specifics. What utilities are included in the monthly rent? Most all-inclusive communities include utilities in the rent. Some 55+ apartment complexes may only cover the water, sewer, and garbage bills. And don’t make assumptions about the internet and wi-fi. Even if they include it, it will be the basic service. Any upgrades will be at your expense. Always ask about the specifics. What is the level of functioning of current residents? Do they seem to be at a higher or lower level than you? How do you feel about this? You’ll want to live in a community where the majority of residents are as active as you are – both physically and mentally. Regardless of whether the community is a good financial fit, it’s vital for you to remain vibrant, and you simply can’t do that if most of your neighbors are much older and experiencing drastically reduced health. Our guide “Downsizing Made Easy” spells out many more questions and scenarios while offering further advice. The guide is provided complimentary to those we meet with for personal downsizing consultations. And, of course, if you live in the Oklahoma City area and are planning a move to a senior retirement community or assisted living, please feel free to contact us at any time for further advice and a no-obligation chat concerning your move. Our team can help you devise a budget, narrow down the options, and provide tips and guidance for all aspects of the move. Receive a free copy of our “Downsizing Made Easy” guide when you meet with us for a personal consultation. What Other Questions Would You Like Answered? Call us anytime! 405-563-7101

As kids my grandfather gave us an old riding lawn mower. He had taken the blade off, so for us, it was simply a slow moving go-cart of sorts. Well, as kids would, we wanted it to go faster and attempted a variety of creative ways to make this happen. My uncle was particularly helpful, although sometimes his idea of “fun” pushed my instinctual boundaries for safety. One day, we decided it might be a good idea to direct the make-shift go-cart down a path into the nearby canyon. As I sat on the seat, still determining if this was a “smart” choice, my uncle was pushing me relentlessly from behind and yelling, “go! go! go!” As I held one foot squarely on the brake and one foot on the gas, my heart knew it was going to be a blast. The problem was that my mind was not necessarily in agreement. That voice was saying, “No, don’t do it! Are you crazy?” Have you ever met someone in this situation? They have one foot on the brake and one on the gas. They presumably want to take action toward something that seems like a good idea, but something is holding them back? I know lots of these people and actually, I am one of them from time to time too! The people I come across through our move management business are those grappling with the fact their aging bodies are not cooperating with their youthful minds. Despite their otherwise youthful self-image, all evidence of youth is literally falling down around them. Maybe they have had a recent joint replacement or heart procedure, or they are suffering from the long-term effects of an irreversible disease or condition. Of course, then there’s the issue of energy, ability, and desire — sometimes things just seem harder than they used to. In this situation, people are often thinking about moving. Maybe to a retirement community or just something smaller or more manageable. Keep in mind that more often than not, in this scenario anyway, they have typically been encouraged by others to entertain this idea. Loving and concerned friends, family, or neighbors have planted the seed – insisting they should at least look at their options. Overcoming the urge to brake Like me and my lawn-mower go-cart, some part of them begins to think this would be a good idea, while the other part of them is insisting, “No way…keep your foot on the brake…this is crazy!” This indecision can go on for years in some cases. And we all know that indecision causes stress, illness, and emotional upheaval, right? So, why? Why do people have such a hard time making this decision? My observation is that people are caught between two realities. One reality is the one they have created in their own mind about staying, while the other reality is the one created about moving elsewhere. The truth? Well, it most certainly lies somewhere in the middle. Pushing doesn’t help I can promise you that when my uncle was pushing my cart toward the canyon while I had my foot planted firmly on the brake, I was going to win the battle at all costs. There was absolutely no possibility of his getting me down into that canyon if I didn’t want to go! The same is true of those people we love, and for whom we want the best, when they are pushed to make a move they have not yet decided is in their best interests. In fact, pushing only creates push-back and longterm push-back ultimately leads to resentment. I have seen it happen on many occasions whereby a person moves to a retirement community because they felt such great pressure from their well-meaning children. The animosity this creates causes a huge chasm, ultimately destroying an otherwise loving or at least civil relationship. Even when the ultimate outcome of the move turns out to be positive, the latent resentment often remains. We all want to be the captain of our own ship. Yes, I changed metaphors here, but you get the idea. No one wants to be pushed and we all want to believe that we can set our sail and go the direction we choose in life. It’s just part of our DNA and it doesn’t change with age. I have two points I am trying to make here, so I’ll just cut to the chase.? Point #1: For those feeling pushed When you are feeling pushed, say so! Speak up. Interrupt the normal flow of conversation and interaction and simply inform your pushers that you are feeling a pressure to decide and that it’s uncomfortable. Tell them you would like to understand their reasons for pushing you and listen with curiosity to what they have to say. Hear them out! Then, share your reasons for riding the brakes. Be clear with them about what your fears, concerns, and questions are so they understand your position as well. Let’s be clear — this is not about justification of your decision (or indecision), it’s simply about getting on the same page about your decision-making process. By doing so, you are illustrating that your decision to not move forward is well-formulated and that you are clear about what needs to occur for you to make a different choice. Otherwise, your pushers will think you are simply “stubborn,” or not thinking clearly. Point #2: For those doing the pushing You already know this, but here it is…Pushing only creates push-back! You may win the battle eventually, but no matter how great the ride (or how right you are), the relationship will ultimately suffer. You won’t like this statement much, but the reality for you is that while you may think you are doing what is best for the other person, you are actually pushing out of a place of selfishness. You may be trying to avoid ultimate guilt associated with your perceived future picture of a negative event (i.e. fall,

For over two decades we’ve worked with seniors and senior communities. Our streamlined process is guided by a simple idea: When downsizing, our clients should be overjoyed, not overwhelmed. Every moving story deserves a happy ending like a recent one shared below. Eloise and Robert After celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and enjoying retirement, life was good. Enough money to live comfortably, travel a bit, time for the grandkids and a home without a mortgage were sweet rewards they’d worked hard for. But life had other plans. Robert was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. Eloise did all she could but soon realized her inability to manage the household and Robert’s treatment regimen as his condition worsened. He bristled, understandably, when she mentioned moving to a nearby life plan community, but agreed to explore downsizing. It made sense. One visit to a nearby senior living community changed everything. Robert feared a dreary place, like where his father had spent his last days. Happily, this was not the case! “I felt like I was at a nice hotel where I was a valued guest. People were active and the staff was very friendly.” End to End Support When the community-recommended OKC Mature Moves, the goal was to make the process as turnkey as possible. They knew our team would go beyond the expected; organizing pre-move details, coordinating and overseeing the actual move, helping to settle in, and helping dispose of what they no longer needed. Working closely with their new community, they moved with less stress, fully supported before, during and after. Now happily settled in their new place, Eloise and Robert enjoy outings with friends, new hobbies, and an easier-to-manage home. Robert does only what he enjoys and doesn’t miss household chores. Eloise happily fills her days cooking (for fun!), painting, volunteering, Facebooking, and visiting grandkids. Best of all, they were able to continue with a Friday evening tradition of watching classic movies together. Happy New Beginnings Every moving story deserves a happy ending followed by a Happy New Beginning, and we look forward to helping you create yours! Give us a call! 405-563-7101